Steph Project Haiti

it seems any type of excitement here gets people worked up, special occasions, elections or concerts people just don’t know how to deal with any type of celebration over-here with out some one being killed. last night we went out to get some ice-cream & ended up in the middle of a shoot out in the street hiding from bullets behind a car while people were being murdered 10 feet from us. a boy who looked about 14 or 15 was shot in the head right before my eyes. i have never seen anyone shot in real life so when his body flew back and hit the wall i didn’t realize he was hit.my first reaction was to run over to him to help him but my husband told me to stay behind the car because the guns were still shooting bullets all over the street. while the bullets were still flying the boys friends grabbed his dead body, one grabbed a leg the other his arms and ran through the streets with his limp dead body while being shot at .
if i would have stepped out on to the street only one minute before i would have been hit with a bullet my self… but some thing in my tummy told me to stay where i was and sure enough the gun fire started right after and we had time to hide behind a car so we wouldn’t get hit.the police were the ones shooting up the streets and also the ones who killed the young boy. when i asked how is it possible that they can just shoot up the street like that and not even check for injured civilians my husband replied ” thats just the way it is here”. none of it made sense, i found out that the police had a road block
( a common thing here everyday) and the boys ran through it with out stopping and then the police killed them…just for running through the road block..who knows maybe the kids had some drugs or weapons and didn’t want to be caught or maybe they were just being silly teenage boys who try to rebel when some one tells them what to do like most teenagers do…but back home when that happens teenage boys don’t get killed for it and with no warning do police shoot up an entire city block nearly killing innocent civilians such as my self. i cant get the image of the boy being murdered right in front of me out of my mind, it keeps replaying like a bad movie.

the other night i wanted to go for a walk and i only made it half a block from my house before my husband panicked and ran after me begging me to get back to the house, i thought he was crazy and couldn’t figure out why he was freaking out about me just wanting to have a little walk under the stars and then …..gunfire…about 20 feet from where i was standing. my husbands friends even came out to find us because they were worried about us being on the street and it was then i realized no matter how ” safe” they say our neighbourhood is… its not. i can only imagine how it is in the bad areas here if this area we are in is how it is and also where all the diplomats and the president live…now i know why when the president comes home from work everyday he has a massive security entourage …he is our neighbour…

my days of solo walks are over now that i am here, i have traded security and safety for walls lined with barbed wire and millions of starving and uneducated haitians who are all just trying to survive in this strange place.
it was different when i was coming here just for a month or a few weeks at a time to work and then go home but now i see that i am learning so much everyday i am here and wouldn’t trade it for the safety of my country because the thing is some thing needs to change here and i really believe i can bring change and win the hearts of gangsters through music and the love of God that resides inside of me.
i remember hearing about some people from my old church in canada coming to haiti for a missions trip a few years ago and thinking they were crazy to come here and try to do anything because of all the stories i have heard and now i am living in the middle of it all.

last night i sat on my patio overlooking the city and God told me he had me in handcuffs for a while because he was teaching me things and that i needed to be patient and just learn right now, which is hard for me because i am so used to doing things that make a big difference and gathering hundreds of people to pull off the visions i have to bring change and utilize creativity to bring healing. i know God wants that here as well i see it , i hear him speaking to me about it and helping me to adjust to this. the violence yesterday was just a reminder of the reality i am living in and to be very diligent and discerning even if it seems “safe”..its not. the thing is that i woke up yesterday with a “bad feeling” and now realize its just God giving me the heads up so i am trying to pay more attention to my instincts and stay in rhythm with God because here you never know when all hell is going to break loose.

i could write for hours but i don’t want to keep you much longer..after all it is christmas eve. i hope you have a good christmas and want to thank you for praying for me and also taking interest in my life here, its people like you who keep me sane when i feel like giving up. i started a school in my house every monday for the illiterate street kids we reach out to , i have some education materials arriving here on the 26th of Dec that were donated so i can take the kids from grade one reading & writing level to grade 3 and then have them reproduce this education in the other street kids, its a start until we get a building but we haven’t had many if any resources donated to us so i made this fancy budget explaining our ministry and broke down each dollar amount and explained what it was for in hopes that the needs would be met if i just keep casting my net. for now i share all i have with everyone around me and know God will replace it and we wont go hungry, its just a test before great increase comes. God just wants to see how i react when i am stripped from all i know and all financial security and fully rely on him to provide so that we can move forward with all the visions and get the housing built on our land and start relocating some of the kids.i have been reading about the effects of malnutrition and mental health and the two are directly linked so i am feeding the kids before classes in my home so they can focus and not feel so nutty from lack of proper nutrients.
heading to the beach now for christmas, talk to you in the new year, eat some turkey for me would ya..